It's amazing what you can find on Google image search. The Don and The Sunil sharing a moment. Makes you wonder where the other hand is. We welcome any explenations/interpretations of this picture, just click on the comment box at the top right corner of this post.
So roughly 8 years ago we brought you this gem. Do you think Sacko is having this same wet dream about Philly?
Who can forget the good times, when Nicko used to lie to our face about how awesome the new stadium was going to be, and how the club was headed in a great direction where soon it would be the envy of the entire league. Not quite there yet eh, Nick? Ah well, it doesn't cost anything to dream.
We hear they are actually making progress on the job site in Harrison, we may just have to go out there and do some investigative reporting.
Fire President and General Manager Guppy departs
BRIDGEVIEW, Ill. (April 11, 2008) - Chicago Fire Soccer and President, General Manager, and Fan Antagonist John Guppy agreed to part ways today after Guppy was asked to clean out his desk. The move comes amid the return of controversial website, and longtime John Guppy foe, MTBFTR made it's triumphant return to the information superhighway. The Fire also announced that Andell Sports Group Managing Director Javier Leon will serve as interim President and GM as soon as a priest performs an exorcism in the President's office to remove any residual evilness. The team will begin the search for a new President and GM immediately by holding auditions in conjunction with Univision, "Sueño Presidencial MLS".
Before joining Andell in February 2008, Leon was the Chief Executive Officer of Chivas USA Enterprises in Los Angeles for three years. There he was astonishingly unsuccessful and hopes to bring that same level of incompetence to his new role with the Fire.
"John's professionalism and dedication was always in doubt with the Fire organization for the past four years, I mean c'mon... who are we kidding? The guy was a prick! I believe it is in the team's best interests to go in a new direction, and we will have Mr. Guppy escorted from the premises immediately. We have also alerted security to check his car before leaving, in case he tries to jack something that isn't his " said Fire Overlord Andrew Hauptman.
"We are very focused on raising the level of play on the field, even if this is MLS, as well as building a world-class sports enterprise. I am confident that Javier will do a great job managing the organization on an interim basis, we hope to get interim results in the meantime. Our plan is to begin a comprehensive search for a new president as quickly as possible. We know the city of Chicago will be paralyzed until this search comes to an end, we ask you keep the entire Chicago Fire organization and this great city in your prayers." Hauptman went on to add "Potential candidates should have hands-on experience, be proficient in Power Point and Microsoft Bullshitting Pro 3.0, as well as have a good work ethic and be a people person. Personal hygiene a must, be prepared to bring your own equipment."
The ex-wives club
Barely 48 hours had passed since the relaunch of MTBFTR and we already are starting to see them run for the hills. Sources inside Energy Drink FC tell us De Grandpre was warned by his predecessor, and we quote, "get out while you can, those fuckers are ruthless."
Rather than deal with us, De Grandpre was stepped aside. Which is a little refreshing to us, since we're used to seeing failure be rewarded with promotions (see Washo, Guppy, Sacko). We promise to get to the bottom of the age old question "What qualifications did De Grandpre have to be running a soccer team in the first place?" Ah screw it, who are we kidding, you apparently don't need any qualifications .
Our mole in the front office says De Grandpre was practicing his spanish in the past few weeks, in anticipation of a possible career redirection. He is lobbying for a job at Fanta with aspirations of some day running Chivas de Guadalajara.
On a side note, how great is it in Energy Drink land that no one ever is fired, they all "resign". Kind of like all those "accidents" that happen to occur around a mafia hitman.
Rather than deal with us, De Grandpre was stepped aside. Which is a little refreshing to us, since we're used to seeing failure be rewarded with promotions (see Washo, Guppy, Sacko). We promise to get to the bottom of the age old question "What qualifications did De Grandpre have to be running a soccer team in the first place?" Ah screw it, who are we kidding, you apparently don't need any qualifications .
Our mole in the front office says De Grandpre was practicing his spanish in the past few weeks, in anticipation of a possible career redirection. He is lobbying for a job at Fanta with aspirations of some day running Chivas de Guadalajara.
On a side note, how great is it in Energy Drink land that no one ever is fired, they all "resign". Kind of like all those "accidents" that happen to occur around a mafia hitman.
Title says it all. For years we have been saying how delusional DC Fans are (and they are). But has 13 years of utter medicority rotted the brains of every single Crew Fan? Is there a game they have ever fairly lost? Everything from watering the pitch pregame to the confluence of Saturn and one of it's moons has been used as an excuse for the Metr-err Red Bulls beating the piss out of the Crew yet again.
Go wander over to the Crew-Red Bull post game thread on BigSucker.com and take a look for yourself. Say hi to Bill Archer for us!
On a related note, Mr. Rumor sent us this picture. According to his secret communique, the Crew are about to receive a large Pole.
Week 1 - The Former Metros 2 - CC 0
Energy Drink wins their 2008 season opener against the Crew. Even with the win TFM will enter week 2 in their seemingly rightful place, "mid-table".
Developing story, stay tuned for details as they are available.
Where to begin. It has been 4 years since we graced the internet with our presence, so it's probably best we start off by filling you in on what we've been up to in that time. Towards the end of 2004 we were indicted at The Hague Tribunal on a litany of charges including inciting riots, overdue books, trafficking underage football talent, and impersonating FIFA officials. We had Blatter's high priced attorneys after us and they were looking for punishment to the fullest extent of the law.
Needless to say we were forced to flee. Our website, mtbftr.com (look it up in the waybackmachine if you were living under a rock during the early 2000's) was shut down. In addition to Interpol, Nick Sakiewicz's private investigators were hot on our trail as well, and the law was finally catching up to us. Our only hope was to put our lives in the hands of an old friend, a Nigerian bootlegger that specialized in golf clubs and potato peelers, and were given refuge in an undisclosed cave somewhere on the planet Earth. Luckily there was internet access, so we were able to keep up with all the news surrounding the MetroStars. Like the opening of their new stadium in Harrison and that first MLS championship. [/sarcasm] Apparently not much changed in our absence.
Except of course that name and logo shit.
After a few years on the run, moving from country to country conspicuously posing as Latin American soap opera stars, we were contacted by makers of Mad Dog 20/20 because they liked our style and wanted to be associated with our "brand". Short on money and desperate for a renewed presence on the web, we held a secret meeting with them in the fall of 2007. They came with suitcases full of cash and a great business plan which centered around dumping the MTBFTR moniker and rebranding to MD2020.com. For the relaunch of the site they would bring in a team of alcoholic daredevils, street mimes and a blockbuster performance by Vanilla Ice. In exchange, we would have to rename ourselves MadDog1 and MadDog2, and promote Mad Dog 20/20 at every chance we got. For example, when we sent out death threats we would have to preface them by saying, "The following death threat is brought to you by... Mad Dog 20/20! Get fucked up tonight with The Dog!"
We were running out of alternatives, our cash was low, the authorities were closing in, and New England almost won an MLS Cup.
Could we do it? Drop MTBFTR? The site that was synonymous with the MetroStars (...failures)? The site that helped make Steve Jolley the internet's first superstar blogger? The site that brought to light the obesity problems of Columbus? The site that was integral in creating an underground railroad for Colombian soccer players to come to the tri-state area?
After much thought we decided to tell those Mad Dog 20/20 assholes to shove it. We're MTBFTR for fuck's sake! You would have to be a real sell out douche bag (or a tranny) to switch your whole identity from one day to the next. Instead we decided to just try and sell more copies of this book to get some cash together to fund a new site.
So here we are, a new MLS season, number 13 if you're even still watching. We'll be mixing in a lot of new content with some oldies but goodies. As always, we welcome you to take your opinions and suggestions and stick them where the sun don't shine. We hereby place everyone on notice. We are back, we are watching closely, we will take you out to the shed and beat you.
Sincerely,
Mr. Red and Mr. Black
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We appreciate your business and we may or may not share your information with telemarketers and internet scam artists.
If you have any MetroStars or MLS related breaking news that is so big and you are dying to share with us, please feel free to email us but afterwards, please, do youself a favor and get a life. No one cares.
We appreciate your business and we may or may not share your information with telemarketers and internet scam artists.
If you have any MetroStars or MLS related breaking news that is so big and you are dying to share with us, please feel free to email us but afterwards, please, do youself a favor and get a life. No one cares.
Last known photograph of Mr. Black. Authorities confirm that although there is an uncanny similarity, Mr. Black is in no way related to Michael Mejido.
Photo believed to be of Mr. Red captured by a security camera at a Brussels retirement home that was swindled out of $25,000 and entire supply of applesauce.
Just how exactly does MTBFTR fund it's various activities? Easy. Merchandise, merchandise, merchandise. Be the first on your block to own one of our famous t-shirts like the one pictured to the left, and rest easy in knowing that the proceeds go strictly towards our ongoing campaign against all other supporters in the league.
PRODUCTS WILL BE ADDED SOON.
