NAME: unknown ALIASES: Mr. Black, Dr. Smooth NATIONALITY: UK BELEIVED TO BE RESIDING IN: Monaco LAST SEEN: Glasgow, Scotland WEAPON OF CHOICE: pool cues and small dogs WANTED FOR: Crimes Against Fashion, Instigating Terrace Rucks in England and Brazil, Crushing The Dreams Of Delusional American Soccer Supporters. Sought in connection with a pyramid scheme intended to drain Screaming Eagles coffers.

Last known photograph of Mr. Black. Authorities confirm that although there is an uncanny similarity, Mr. Black is in no way related to Michael Mejido.